Zaloopa
Master of the Dead
Registered: 04-2003
Location: Wouldn't YOU like to know!
Posts: 5913
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Time to see what this forum can do...
Last person to post wins! We'll see if this topic deletes itself when it gets too big. I even disabled the auto-email-me thingy so I won't be "cheating"
Enjoy!
--- Guess what? I got a fever... and the only prescription is more cow bell! - Christopher Walken
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5/8/2003, 9:32 pm
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Drakefyre
Not a Dragon
Registered: 04-2003
Posts: 76
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Re: Time to see what this forum can do...
*enjoys* Loopy.
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5/9/2003, 2:52 am
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draco
The Artist
Registered: 05-2003
Posts: 7
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Pokes
I wonder how much memory each post takes up...
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5/9/2003, 8:40 am
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HarvestMoonG
Not as evil as me.
Registered: 05-2003
Location: Lab, trying to perfect plan D
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Re: Time to see what this forum can do...
Hmm, wonder were you got the idea for this, any who, should I stick the "Long list of stupid things" here?
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5/9/2003, 10:10 am
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Zaloopa
Master of the Dead
Registered: 04-2003
Location: Wouldn't YOU like to know!
Posts: 5913
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Re: Time to see what this forum can do...
Eh, sure, why not?
--- Guess what? I got a fever... and the only prescription is more cow bell! - Christopher Walken
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5/9/2003, 10:13 am
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HarvestMoonG
Not as evil as me.
Registered: 05-2003
Location: Lab, trying to perfect plan D
Posts: 188
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Re: Time to see what this forum can do...
In no particular order, I give you the long list of stupid things:
1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink
3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their
prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a
call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America.......do hotdogs come in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics= ' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning
'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that
stuff?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just= " a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: " Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We
could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with= head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
To be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company.
I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
--- if electricity make electrons does that mean morons make morality?
All people have a photographic memory,some just dont have film.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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5/9/2003, 10:27 am
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Zaloopa
Master of the Dead
Registered: 04-2003
Location: Wouldn't YOU like to know!
Posts: 5913
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Re: Time to see what this forum can do...
Hehe, nice striped pattern there.
--- Guess what? I got a fever... and the only prescription is more cow bell! - Christopher Walken
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5/9/2003, 12:42 pm
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Zaloopa
Master of the Dead
Registered: 04-2003
Location: Wouldn't YOU like to know!
Posts: 5913
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Re: Time to see what this forum can do...
So, I win now right?
While most message boards don't delete a topic after it gets too big, there are many that close the topic after it reaches a certain number of messages. I'm just curious if this one has a limit like that.
--- Guess what? I got a fever... and the only prescription is more cow bell! - Christopher Walken
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5/9/2003, 5:01 pm
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